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To 'Help' or 'Not' to help the question?

    • 5 posts
    September 15, 2016 5:21 PM PDT

     

     

     

    When the sugar is taken out of the candy and the flavor is gone; there is not much left to savor.

    When do we or should we step in and help others? Are we actually helping, or, are we taking chosen lessons away from them? When is it appropriate to intervene? Are they really asking for help? Perhaps, but in the process, are we enabling them to be manipulators because they don't want to take responsibility for the circumstances that they now find themselves in? Maybe they lost the control they thought they'd have in choosing certain experiences; simply put, they might have bit off more than we could chew and now have given up. What if they do want others to step in and save them, only to then find out that we aren't satisfied with the help that was given; are they any better off?  What if they are helped and in the process feel that they have lost certain gift's or abilities they had prior to being given assistance; how can those gifts be retrieved? Do you think that they appreciate the help or would we just want our gift's back? They might find themselves reevaluating who they are and have to deal with their losses.

    Maybe we can get our answers and help ourselves in the process; then again, welcoming help coming from outside ourselves as they might know more and they may have had experiences in similar matters that are disconcerting us at the moment. We might be asking for assistance because we either can't, won't or don't trust ourselves and through the assistance of others, things will work out for the better. There must be an easier way of doing this. There isn't magic potion or pill we can take to give us those answers or solutions, furthermore, outside help only takes away our responsibility for our choices and decisions that we've made; it's possible that we might be given different set of circumstances and experiences that could take us in another direction; further complicating our predicament and renewing our chosen lessons.

    We all have our answers within ourselves, but, do we take the time to look/listen? Would we trust those answers? If not, why not? Have we been judging ourselves and others through our own experiences? If we have been blaming others for what we feel has happened in our lives is another way of taking the attention away from looking at self and or taking responsibility for the decisions we made and our the part we played in the experience – after all, on another level we co-created it with the other participants; for our mutual learning! Perhaps, we are so busy doing things for others or having others do things for us that we neglect looking at ourselves? Avoidance is a wonderful tool and an excellent way of not looking at self; after all we might not like what we find.
    After all is said and done, we have to come to our own conclusions, make our own judgments to know what is right or wrong for us.

    We can ask for help or give help but is it ever appropriate to step in and help someone when we are not asked?

     

    • Moderator
    • 78 posts
    September 15, 2016 5:44 PM PDT

    Help in my opinionis always a two way street. On the one hand, if we have the knowledge to give, if we know someone who needs it, we wish to give it to them because we generally feel a common need to do so. However if that knowledge is not to their liking or satisfaction, it doesn't mean we are bad people for thinking it would be useful. We don't know how they feel about what they are facing, only that if the problem persists, no matter what we say up until or unto such a point is resolved, it still exists. Some people only focus on that, so it isn't as if our effort means a great deal to who ever we are there to give support to.

    • Moderator
    • 78 posts
    September 15, 2016 5:44 PM PDT

    Help in my opinionis always a two way street. On the one hand, if we have the knowledge to give, if we know someone who needs it, we wish to give it to them because we generally feel a common need to do so. However if that knowledge is not to their liking or satisfaction, it doesn't mean we are bad people for thinking it would be useful. We don't know how they feel about what they are facing, only that if the problem persists, no matter what we say up until or unto such a point is resolved, it still exists. Some people only focus on that, so it isn't as if our effort means a great deal to who ever we are there to give support to.

    • Moderator
    • 78 posts
    September 15, 2016 5:44 PM PDT

    Help in my opinionis always a two way street. On the one hand, if we have the knowledge to give, if we know someone who needs it, we wish to give it to them because we generally feel a common need to do so. However if that knowledge is not to their liking or satisfaction, it doesn't mean we are bad people for thinking it would be useful. We don't know how they feel about what they are facing, only that if the problem persists, no matter what we say up until or unto such a point is resolved, it still exists. Some people only focus on that, so it isn't as if our effort means a great deal to who ever we are there to give support to.