Forums » General Discussions

To 'Help' or 'Not' to help?

    • 5 posts
    September 15, 2016 5:54 PM PDT

     

    Greetings

    When the sugar is taken out of the candy and the flavor is gone; there is not much left to savor.

    When should we step in and help others? Are we actually helping, or, are we taking chosen lessons away from them? When is it appropriate to intervene? Are they really asking for help? Perhaps, but in the process, are we enabling them to be manipulators to have someone else becoming involved so they don't take responsibility for the circumstances they now find themselves in? Maybe they lost the control they thought they'd have in choosing certain experiences; simply put, they might have bitten off more than we could chew and perhaps they have just given up. What if they do want others to step in and save them and after assistance is given they aren't satisfied with the help given; are they any better off or is the help been used as a scape goat to create a red herring?  What if they are helped and in the process they feel they have lost certain gift's/abilities or personal information kept secret. Do you think that they appreciate the help or would they just want everything back as it was? They might find themselves re-evaluating who they are and having to deal with their losses.

    Why look for help to come from outside ourselves? Is it because we think others might know more or they may have had experiences with similar matters we now find disconcerting to us at the moment. We might be asking for assistance because we either can't, won't or don't trust ourselves and through the assistance of others, things will work out for the better. There must be an easier way of doing this. There isn't a magic potion or pill we can take to give us those answers or solutions, furthermore, outside help only takes away our responsibility for our choices and decisions we've made. Is it possible, if there was such a pill, then we might be given a different set of circumstances/experiences that would take us in another direction; maybe the pill would only further complicate our predicament and renewing our chosen lessons.

    We all have our answers within ourselves, but, do we take the time to look/listen? Would we trust those answers? If not, why not? Have we been judging ourselves and others through our own experiences? If we have been blaming others for what we feel has happened in our lives, is only another way of taking the attention away from looking at self and taking responsibility for the decisions we made. The part we played in the experience is from our own creation, after all, on another level we co-created it with the other participants; for our mutual learning! Perhaps, we are so busy doing things for others or having others do things for oueselves, we inadvertently neglect to look at ourselves? Avoidance is a wonderful tool and an excellent way of not looking at self; after all we might not like what we find.

    After all is said and done, we have to come to our own conclusions, make our own judgments to know what is right or wrong for us.

    We can ask for help or give help, but, is it ever appropriate to step in and help someone when we are not asked?

     


    This post was edited by Derek at September 15, 2016 5:59 PM PDT